Hi one and all
My partner’s mood today have really got to me. He has had a disagreement with another local which has really got to him. The local man has blown a situation out of context which has angered both of them. Last two hours he has been slamming doors and looks like thunder, saying he’s sick of this place is selling up and moving to Australia. This is not directed at me but not pleasant to be around and when he says selling up and moving to Auz, I’m left standing, thinking where do I stand with him in all this??? I hate feeling like this, same old insecure feeling are moving back in…
He has just told me he is going for a drive, taken his phone and left and I’m wondering why he took his phone??? So, here I am, feeling low writing to you all. This local and his wife are meant to be coming over tomorrow afternoon, I’m very fond of them both. I guess that won’t be happening now….
Partner also told me that he doesn’t like Xmas and doesn’t believe in presents, I’m quite the opposite. I think he was telling me not to expect any gifts from him. To me it’s not the gift but the thought that we have gone to an effort to think and do something special for your loved one. I’m sure as a child he didn’t celebrate Xmas with his family, his dad, then mum pretty much left him when she remarried and he was raised by his grandmother.
In the middle of this I’m also feeling the guilt of my gambling history and how it feels like he is pissed off with everyone, including me.
He has possibly gone for a drive to cool off but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like crap…
Today, I have no plan to gamble!