Velvet and Lily,
Thank you. After spending a day crying (even at work) and feeling lost and hopeless I came back to this forum. I look at other people’s posts and I know my situation is what it is. My CG left me and I should ”move on with my life and work on myself”. I even don’t have any updates. We don’t really talk I just sent him a Happy birthday message and he thanked me and said he hopes Im doing good.
There is not even stuff to write about. I am just broken. The time is flying. Today a friend of mine sent me some of his social media posts and he looks good..He looks happy and this probably sounds horrible but that broke me. I haven’t stopped crying. I love that man so much and in those pictures he looks like the man I fell in love with. What hurts is thinking that we are definitely over and that he is better without me and not gambling.
It sounds horrible and selfish. I am just devastated. I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want my marriage to be ended over a text. No one knows how much he gambled and how it took over his life so much and how it affected our marriage. Now it just seems like he is better off without me.
I know I can’t text him I miss him because he made a decision and he decided to end it.
I can’t help but wish and hope he would be back but I am terrified he won’t be….