[butchugly]

This may seem a bit daft but I don’t think I really have registered what deep urges feel like. Obviously I know they are there or I wouldnt be a CG. But I’ve been trying to think what they feel like. Because I think of gambling and then gamble. I go from thought to playing. I don’t even try and ride through any urges to know what it feels like. So I have that to come I guess. When I didn’t gamble prior to my most recent spree, I didn’t want to. I was so angry at it and it felt good not to gamble. I realise now that my anger held me. But anger isn’t going to help me manage this disease. Does that make any sense?