I didn’t gamble, IDI because I used God’s help/self discipline/accountability and a few other projects to keep me on the straight and narrow. Simple things that never fail if I convince ourselves that I DO NOT WANT to gamble (the flawed part of my addicted mind will always tell me that I do)
First, I asked hubby to come with me. He hummed and hawed ( a great excuse to run off alone and unconsciously tell myself it’s his fault). I went alone.
Second, I told him exactly where I was going. (The shopping centre closes at 7pm so if I was home later than 8pm it would be a dead give away) When I intend to gamble, I am deliberately vague about my plans.Of course in the past I said I “met a friend, got stuck in traffic, went for a walk”…..all the usual BS)
Thirdly, I have a friend coming to stay overnight on Tuesday and I wanted to get back to put the Christmas bedding on the beds, make bread and prepare other food. ( I kept reminding myself that IF I gambled I would not meet any of these projects and worst of all I would be skint and like a zombie. I don’t want to be absent for this visit (i.e in a gambling fugue).
Above all I kept reminding myself of the words I said at Confession last Sunday…”I firmly resolve….to amend my life” Who can say those words to God and mean the total opposite ? Bad enough being a Compulsive Gambler without being a total hypocrite.
So, here I am into the 2nd week of December, G free. I got lots of presents ( keeping it small this year)
Three bag fulls are now sitting in my over cluttered bedroom but it sure beats looking in an empty purse and asking
“Why did I do it AGAIN?”!! Barriers are in the mind.
Of course I thought of “doubling my money”
I took the right lane at the two roundabout exits that would have led me to disaster and put the boot down and turned up the radio until I was well clear of the chance to turn off.
Texted “himself” when I left the shopping centre to say “On my way home”
Urges/triggers can be excuses. Deciding BEFORE I gamble that I cannot gamble keeps me safe. If one iota of the temptation takes hold, it always ends in grief.
I would love to see that Louis T programme…must check it out.