After a few more unbearable weeks of pent up lies, my boyfriend finally came clean about how bad the gambling got. Although I was in control of his money, I was unaware he received his taxes and his bonus from work. He spent all of it playing poker online. He came clean about it and asked for forgiveness. He said he was ashamed and disappointed in himself and how one lie just kept turning into another. He spoke with his therapist about it yesterday too. His therapist said this could be a good thing because now he is admitting and accepting that he has a problem and that he cannot do it at all. I saw this coming too and as you know, had my fears and suspicions. I guess I am just venting because I’m torn. Do I continue this relationship as long as he continues to choose recovery or do I give up? Is this a cycle that is just going to continue to happen? There is so much uncertainty and I am just so afraid. He builds back the trust just to rip it away again. It’s exhausting. I’m tired. I love him and all I’ve been wanting was for him to choose recovery, but how can I protect myself if I choose to stay with him?
