Thanks all, I really appreciate the comments and criticism.
The last time I played was Saturday evening so I’m very fresh as well. I’ve been spending the weekend researching others stories and also going through where I can get help. I actually went to an al-anon session yesterday thinking it was AA and was totally in the wrong place! However they told me to stay anyway and see what it’s like, it was good to see the world through the lense of someone that’s been affected by certain problems. Gambling definitely is the do or die for me because that’s where all the damage is coming from that is affecting my family.
I know alcohol starts it but gambling is where it ends, and it’s not like I drink with my wife and then want to gamble it’s only that I’ll do this if I’m at the pub, drinking with mates, etc. I’ve been to a psychiatrist before for this problem and it didn’t work for me. Afterwards I got into running a lot and fitness and that kept me away for 3 months. For me what works best is hearing others stories and hopefully being able to help others while working on myself so that’s one reason I want to give all three a go first, there’s no harm in it right? It keeps me away from the machines, or the drink, or whatever.
Anyway what’s happened in the past few days is that I told my mum about the situation and to ask her for a loan, I could’ve lied to her and told her it’s for something else but I completely opened up to her, my dad wasn’t as forgiving of the situation and is not talking to me right now which is understandable. My mum has decided to help me and has also told me she doesn’t want me at her front door if I’m ever to do it again. I know I don’t want to make these same mistakes again so I’m getting a lot of strength from these words and that’s why I’ll keep following up with the GA, AA meetings. It’s taken me nearly losing everything to see that I’ve been going too far with the gambling. I’m sick of borrowing money and relying on people for help too. We have decent paying jobs too so I know if I just buckle up for a year I can knock out so much of the debts and be in a happier position in life.
I’ve got a GA meeting tonight and I’ll go to a proper AA meeting tomorrow and I’ll give both a go, and see which one works best for me and if it’s both then so be it. We can definitely all do this if we continue supporting each other and continue reminding ourselves of the crap that gambling puts you through!!!
I’ll keep you all updated. Thanks for listening.