Today I attended a birthday party of a relative someone I am close with. And I saw their “trashy and raunchy” side come out, sure it may have been some of the alcohol but I have seen it here and there without alcohol. They don’t act that way around me when it’s just us, or even speak in the manner she was today because she knows I am not like that. There have been many times where I wondered which side of her, really is her because it’s always such a contrast, almost scary. And as I watched her enjoy herself and be silly with her friends I realised that deception is in everybody. That it isn’t just a tool for a cg person to hide the truth, but everyone hides a little bit of themselves even without an addiction. They play the part they need to and I use to be hard on myself for being so deceptive. But now I realise I see it in a lot of people I know, there are also genuine real people in my life which I am thankful for. Now I am beginning to not be so hard on what I use to do, because people I am supposed to trust do it to. I hope that makes sense in some way I know that I am just ranting.
Another day clean, today might even be my 8th week mark,