I should have never had access to line of credit, worst part I had an rrsp and tfsa. I had 10k in each of those that supposed to not be able to touch. All I had to do was call
my bank and easily transfer the money out and in to my chquing. gambled that away. Funny I never thought my addiction would gamble with the banks money. It was always my own, or the casinos. it goes to show how much of a bottomless pit this really is. I used to read stories of people gambling with credit and I would think how can someone Do that. I could never do that. Well look at me
now. I am what I read and never understood. It drives me crazy if I think about it too much. Well now
as soon I pay off the 10k line of credit, I’m closing it down. I also called the bank and told them I am a cg. Decrease my daily withdraw limit. my anger and frustration comes inwaves. I really just can’t believe what I’ve done to my life, sabotaged it from my own Decisions to step foot in that hell hole for the 599th time. Every relapse being worse than the one before. The problem now is I don’t know the value of a dollar. I’m trying to retrain my mind. If I make 1000$ in a week from work , it doesn’t feel like anything. I don’t know what I have to do to go back to normality. I guess time will heal this. Sorry. Thanks for checking in. I appreciate you a lot