I wonder what would have happened if you had been allowed in? Testing the ban is not a good idea – as no doubt you know. Was there a trigger for you to do this – if so, try and eliminate that trigger so that you are not tempted again.
Don’t think about the big wins – because you know that they will only give you the ammunition you need to gamble with. Look at whether you need to be able to “grab 1000” or whether you can put things in place that will make it impossible for you to get hold of that sort of money at short notice.
Good that you didn’t gamble and are still posting here. I wish you well.