Tonight I had really strong urges to gamble- the type of urges which would have led to gambling if it wasn’t for my barriers.
Something is slipping and I’m not sure what
.
I have to go to work tomorrow – perhaps that’s stressing me .
I have nothing much to look forward to (thanks to lockdown).
Something has changed because tonight barriers saved me.
I am on the verge of real financial security – maybe I want to self sabotage?
I guess it’s a good thing that when I was feeling strong (or maybe I felt weak ) I put barriers in place.
Recovery is so good usually – payday on Tuesday – no reward of dinner out or new clothes – plan for the unexpected they said…
How on earth could anyone plan for this pandemic ?
I keep myself going by thinking I will have extra money and I will plan some good trips – but then I wonder will the world be ever normal again – and if it is will I be here to enjoy it?
I am such a bundle of laughs tonight. I need to get a grip and fill my time a little more constructively.
I am still gamble free – I guess that’s something to be happy about. I am also pleased to see that Ireland’s aggressive strategy for controlling Corona seems to be yielding positive results. I guess I can always holiday on the island when this is all over …