Another quiet day today slept for long periods. Was ina bit of what i call a therapy fog from yesterdays GA meeting. I had been having some memories come to consciousness of my fathers physical and emotional abuse when I was a child. I had dealt with this many years ago and had forgiven him particularly after he passed in 2006. But these memories came to mind yesterday which I guess is part of the healing
Process. We had a GA session last week on the link between pain and spiritual growth. Met with my sponsor before the GA step 4 meeting yesterday. A number of people at the meeting including my sponsor were going through something. The speaker had attempted suicide with enough pills to kill an an elephant and was in a coma for days and left with a permanent disability because of it. I resonated with the deep place of pain that this addiction can leave you with where suicide seems tobetheonlyoption. Part of my addiction was fuelled by having had quite a painful life and wanting an end to that. My sponsor said to me that suicide is a choice. I chided him today and said never that to someone who is suicidal. I myself a wondering how long I will be in the purgatory I am in now and the message I got was that all things pass andnothing is permanent which I am holding on to. I am Ok in myself, still tired somewhat, but free of pain which is good,
