To Me and Bro Maverick
I can forget, drift and backslide when I become complacent. I need to remind myself, I am not a perfect man.
Gambling gives me false hope. If gambling has a voice, all the promises that it tell me was all a lie.
Gambling was like a robber, it come into our life and rob us of our peace, joy and freedom.
Gambling took over the top priority and love in our life that once belong to God, family and work.
Gambling took away the time that once belong to God, family and work and rob us of the money that could have been spend on love ones.
Most honest recovery people was there and has done that, they were once in a very unmanageable situation. The hole was so big and deep, life look hopeless but the miracle of recovery changes all that and today these people carry the message of recovery with gratitude.
Recovery from gambling was all about not gambling today. Our past is history, there is nothing we can do to erase and change all that, you can only focus on not gambling today, don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow has not arrive, when it come, you just need to repeat what you did today.
If taking one day at a time was tough, try taking baby steps, do the next right thing, one thing at a time.
No honest recovery person I knew was perfect, they cannot guarantee that they can stay gamble free for the rest of their life. We can only stay gamble free today. If we fail today, it is not the end of the world, tomorrow we try again to stay gamble free again. Every gambling free day matter, they all add up. Each day we say no to addiction, we are healing. We seek progress, not perfection!
I was an alcoholic too, I used to drink almost every week. Last year I only drank twice over 365 days. Frankly, I cannot remember how many days I gamble, I can either choose to beat up myself for my imperfection in recovery or be encourage by the progress I made in recovery. I do not claim perfection in recovery. I choose to see a half full glass instead of an half empty glass. It help me to remain in gratitude, humble and motivated to work harder to seek more progress. I am doing this for myself.
We are handicap by our addiction, try asking someone on crutches to stand up and walk. It takes a lot of effort and courage to take the first step in early days. Early days in recovery can be tough, it can be painful and stressful but it will get better and become easier over time.
It was not a difficult decision to made, we can only keep one and sacrifice one; either I continue gambling and sacrifice the family or I can choose to keep the family and sacrifice gambling.
Everyone that has done it will tell you they have found a new peace, joy and freedom, quality of life at home has improve, our well-being will affect and bring happiness and hope to our love ones. It is so worth it!
Like many of us in here, our last relapse was not our first relapse; our last attempt was not our first attempt in recovery, we have done it before, we know what it was like and what we need to continue doing.
There is hope. Praise God!
God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
