To get that far and stop yourself, change your mind, take the auto pilot off, I’m amazed at your strength!
I was the same way. If something upset me, and I’d say physical abuse is a good reason to be upset, I’d head straight for a machine. It could make me forget. But only for a spell and then it’s right back, usually with the added problem of spending money that wasn’t mine to spend. It was the electric companies, the tax man, the food off the table, but not mine.
So other than the “incident” I see a post full of good news.
60 days! Wohoooo! It can be a trigger milestone but you got through it.
In only 60 days you turned things around and went from no gas and barely any food to buying and delivering Christmas presents.
You continue to attend counseling and getting something out of it even though it is difficult. You are changing from the person who gambled uncontrollably to avoid life to someone who will get everything they can out of life.
You got through a close call by thinking it through. And you are already thinking through Christmas.
Congratulations on every step you have taken! You’ve worked really hard on your recovery. Wishing you nothing but good things in the new Year.
Laura