I really wish that I had more time to post, this forum has some great threads to read at the minute, it’s hard to keep up, and am afraid I’m working long hours at the minute so can’t always reply to the posts I read as much as I want to.
I had one of those days yesterday when one thing goes wrong then all of a sudden it starts going from bad to worse. It started at 5am when we went into work to find we weren’t in our own truck, we were in the brand new shiny branded truck, as a reward for being champion crew we were to drive the flagship vehicle. It was awful, very little room in the cab, and worst of all it was automatic. All was well until my mate crashed into the back of a stationary van with ladders on the back, smashing the windscreen and bumper. Half an hour later we delivered a big fridge freezer to a first floor flat up the stairs from hell and into a tiny tight corner. Once we’d put it in the lady decides she wants to send it back because said the handles didn’t look parallel!!! We took it back down the stairs she then claims we have scuffed her floor. In all honesty we probably did, she has a vinyl floor and she is pursuing a claim for the cost of replacement. So being self-employed it has probably cost us about a thousand pound to go to work yesterday, Imagine that. Oh and then I came home with the keys in my pocket and had to take them back.
Am going to visit my mam for a mother’s day surprise, and am looking forward to that, she is going into hospital to get her other knee done on Monday so I can take her to the hospital before I go for the train, I’ll probably go back next weekend because there’s no one at home when she comes home.
I know at times in the past these things would have sent me straight to the bookies or casino. Yesterday I just sort of laughed/sighed at the memories of how pathetic I behaved when I used to gamble. I do feel liberated from gambling. I know the feeling of liberation will subside if I lose touch with recovery and forget I have a problem.
It’s great to read the happy positive posts, it’s a shame there’s a lot of not so happy ones too. Also a shame to see so many conspicuous absentees’, which usually means one thing. No disrespect intended to anyone but I’m just pleased it isn’t me, it really is so sad because you do not need to do it. Fritz’s thread has a great theory about gambling which makes a lot of sense.
Time for bed!