You know, time was that I would get my weekly pay on a Friday, feel the butterflies in my guts, and rush to play the slots usually all night long. Today, 4 hours on from getting my benefit and it only just crosses my mind now. Something has really changed. And there is nothing in me that wants to do that at all. Things are calmer today, no,call from bailiffs but I have blocked the number anyway. Pete has just come in and said he is not buying food for me any more. That is so fine by me. He has a problem with me eating it. I mean, really…. I cannot bear pettiness, it is one of of those things that pushes my buttons. Even if there is a Tiny bit of pate in the fridge and it may be the only thing I eat in a day, he gets cross because I have eaten it. I feel totally ok with this cos I will eat a darn sight healthier than macdonalds and pizzas. The wedge between him leaving and the separating out is getting more by the day and iam happy with this. I genuinely wish him well. It has only taken six years, such a procrastinator i am. I was also thinking how wonderful it would be to buy some new clothes. I used to buy twice yearly a wardrobe but nothing at all all this year. How wonderful it will be when I am able to do this again.certainly will appreciate it.
