If you ask previous employers, friends, family, previous staff i’ve employed or agencies i’ve used who don’t know my circumstances most will say i’m honest, reliable and intelligent.
Unfortunetly i used all of those skills in the wrong way. One thing I would say is, once you’ve committed fraud or lied and go unpunished you think you can do it again.
I don’t blame anyone else, its all my own doing but if I was punished the first time i stole i don’t think i’d be in this position now.
Everytime i messed up i lied about how much money i owed, i gave all access to my father but still owed money elsewhere so i continued to gamble to try to recoup my debt.
People often talk about how much money they’ve lost, i’ve done that when i tried to stop 1,2,3,4 times etc but the reality is I sit here with 1p in my pocked money isn’t everything. Importance of having family/friends, being truthful and being able to live without feat or guilt is more important.
When your gambling you still have access to money, i have no access to money unless i commit further crime, i won’t do that though. I’ve made good money in my life through hard work, it will come again i know it will but only if i stop gambling. I need to become a human being and be able to rehabilitate in society and live without fear and guilt. Gambling is probably 30% of the problem, other 70% is my behaviour/ impulsiveness, working too hard, my pride, trying to please others, trying to be everyones friend and not being able to be honest. Look what steps and lengths i’ve gone to gamble its crazy.
Now its time to concentrate on myself and my recovery.