Dear diary
I feel that I am already so close to my grave and yet I am still learning how to live life.
It is so embarrassing and ashamed, I was so immature and such a big fool.
2 days has passed, I am beginning to feel the remorse, regrets and big disappointment over my slip/relapse, the self beating have began.
I am a repeat offender using alcohol and gambling, imagine if i am doing hardcore drug in Singapore and I was caught, it can mean 12 years behind bar. There is no room for a single slip/relapse.
Why cant I wake up my idea, this is really a serious problem that I am toying.
One time is one too many!!!
One time is one too many!!!
One time is one too many!!!
Dated 8 Dec 2014, I wrote here: Alcohol and gambling has rob me of everything I have, and stripped me of all my self respect, dignity and esteem, leaving me helpless with only shame, guilt, hopelessness and more suffering