So I am creeping up to 3 months gamble free and that is something I am very proud of. With that being said I am having my struggles. To be honest it’s not even really urges of gambling. I am having troubles with the debts I have created and coping with the mess I have created gambling for years. I feel very relieved and happy that if I keep going on this path I will be free and never have this same problem again.
That being said all the scars are still so fresh and I have to live with the fact that I have basically gone backwards in the last few years. If this illness hadn’t have progressed at my age I would be doing so very very good for myself. Now I am faced with a lot of debt and a sad truth of a large global recession approaching. This scares me because I don’t know how I’ll be able to claw out of debt. I have been lucky to make good money up until this point but I have fears of all of that ending. Just hard to sit with myself and think that if I hadn’t of done this I wouldn’t have any fears. I would be living comfortably and everything I have worked so hard for would have been worth it.
I now feel like the last 10 years have been wasted:(