Think about how much you have achieved by saying no to gambling, How much more damage you shielded yourself from, How bad it could actually have gotten and how much
More debt might have been added had you not taken the right steps to say “no more !”
Rewinding and replaying for me has always been my Achilles heel but it’s something I am working on stopping now.
About your friend. Firstly May his souls rest in peace. At the age of 17 when young independent life begins to take form and then it’s over. Not easy to witness that at the same age and I can’t begin to imagine the suffering that loss brought you and his loved ones.
My 23 year old brother lost his 22year old friend this year and watched him die. It was a car accident. He was young and driving dangerously. On that particular night, the friend had asked my brother if he wished to join him for a late night movie at the cinema with some other friends. My brother declined due to work fatigue that day. Everyone in the car survived but his friend, the driver died. A rod had entered his neck, piercing his main artery.
My brother cried for weeks on end and locked himself away. Drank himself sick and cried some more. I cried too thinking about how i might have felt had I witnessed a close friend pass away. Life seems insurmountable and hard for me some days. Especially since having my baby and my gambling problems of the past (finAncial damage, shame, guilt in the couple etc etc) but life really is fragile, impermanent and short.
Day 23 for me Murr. May we have control again and success in our gamble free future!