Bad people intimidate their victims a lot more often than kill them, believe me I know.
I really dont have time to post a lot but believe me how ever low you have sunken there is always a way up and out. It is a battle but you can do it. I’ve been to prison five times after breaking the law to feed my gambling problem I’ve lived on the streets and been in psychiatric hospitals, like many other cg’s I have attempted suicide you are not unique in the feelings and thoughts you have at the minute.
What is done is done, you cant change that. What you can change is your own behaviour and that is what you really need to do. Please use the live helpt-line for support when its open try and get someone to talk to about this right now if you can.
You and your family deserve a lot more than gambling will ever give you.
Take care.
Geordie.