I know that is what gambling will do to you. I thought I had reached rock bottom with my gambling, but then I met someone who had gone down further than me … There is always another level.
I don’t know what your lowest is – you haven’t said much about yourself, but please believe that you can stop gambling. Read around this forum and look at the tales of people who have stopped for days, months, years and decades. There is lots of information here too about banning yourself from gambling places / websites; not having access to finance; keeping busy and getting good support for yourself.
If you feel you can, maybe write a bit more about your situation so that others here can help you to find your way. There is also the new members group tonight. I wish you well.