The water leakage problem is not solved, but things have calmed down, as we have done all we can. Back to my story.
We all know the feelings of guilt and regret and also silence around our gambling. It was not a secret between my husband and I, but it was something which came between us that we never talked about.
My husband never, ever wanted to talk about my gambling. Just this terrible thing we could not talk about. And I think this seeped into my recovery as well. Even though i am working to change, working on recovery, there is a loneliness, shame and silence around that as well. A piece of me i cannot openly share. Just as my gambling was.
So, Friday, i asked my husband if i could share something that had upset me concerning this site…he does know i post on a gambling site. To my surprise, he said, “sure.” I told him what had happened. It felt so good to share this with him. Share a bit of my recovery. Who i am right now. I think i have carried my shame into recovery. As if my recovery, especially since is has not been perfect, is something to be ashamed of and not shared, just like my gambling was. Which makes recovery almost as lonely as the addiction itself.
Anyway, it felt good to share this with him, and by the way, he did not think it was handled very well either.
I believe there is always a silver lining, and in this situation, this was mine. Just wanted to share this with you.
I am determined to stay to strong. Thank you so much!
