The Ugly…
Firstly, GV, I want to say, I am in no way judging your GF. Number one, I’m a woman (we do stick together , deep down) and I’m a CG with all the flaws, scars and weaknesses of every other CG….so i can’t point a finger.
The “ugly” to me, is that Nguyen is STILL gambling. Despite admitting to having left a trail of destruction ( good that her son knows) she still gambles.
I was like that for years, GV. I justified my gambling by saying “Well, I don’t hide it anymore”. That gives a CG the false security that we are being honest, but in truth , it really means that we are just good bullshitters and excel in buying time, postponing the day when we will have to STOP gambling , for good.
You say, she wants to stop. That is NOT true. She has you fooled there. If she wanted to stop she would go to GA or come to this Site and share with others CGs who won’t allow her to play them like a fiddle.
Gambling is an UGLY, sinister, progressive , malicious disease. It does not go away. It will never leave a CG. The CG has to walk away from it.
This thread is about YOU, though. As I read through your post , you are saying a lot about your own values, how you view life/ women/ money/relationships, how your expectations/needs/wants can be adjusted to attain gratification of those desires. How you are “whitewashing” behaviour that you know is unacceptable to ensure you will have company. I’m hearing hints of fear and loneliness in your posts. Nguyen, with all her charm, has swept you off your feet. As a woman I think I can say with confidence that she knows she is holding the trump card. Image is important to you. Gambling is important to her. The external image of the “happy couple” can often be a facade. We all know that.
As a CG “in recovery” , of course I hold out hope for Nguyen, as I do for every other gambler. If I can stop and stay stopped so can they. But I did not do that by going into casinos , fooling myself and others that I could “limit my spending”.
I didn’t even want to stop. I stopped because I had to. Years later the “want to stop” began to surface.
What YOU need to know GV, is that CGs cannot limit our spending. We cannot gamble. Period. Why ? because we never win. The more “ammunition” we got the longer we spent “shooting lethal bullets”. Believe me during this period we can destroy many lives but guess what? We don’t give a damn because our need to gamble is far greater than our need to live a normal life.
Once a CG crosses this line, there is no going back.
While I want to say, best wishes with your relationship ( and I do see there is a better life ahead for Nguyen- but ONLY when she admits she is powerless over gambling and agrees to walk away) I owe it to you to say while she is still gambling, you are living in a Fool’s Paradise and the relationship is all a sham.
By the way, there is no need to give intimate details here. We can all read between the lines. LOL
