Day 3 gamble free, I have been working very hard at understanding why I slip up and been building so many barriers you wouldnt believe, I still have a plan to self exclude from every public place I used to gamble (about 4 shops left) and have blocked and excluded from everything online so that route is neon impossible now, just need to get my hands on a tenner to get the photos I need to self exclude from the remaining 4 shops, sounds stupid I know but when you havent got money you havent got money, I wont lie I have managed to pay all the bills until the end of the month and earlier in the month gave my wife all the money she needed for the kids school clothes and there day trip money, so at least thats all sorted, I dont get paid for another 3 weeks and it is going to be a tough time, struggling for petrol but thats my fault, as a punishment perhaps I will have to walk to work and back for a few weeks, the problem being a compulsive gambler is very much like the story “the boy who cried wolf” in the end no one believes you!!!! and in truth I cant blame them.
I am here, I am alive, I am fighting, I am a compulsive gambler and just for today I will not gamble.
Thank you to everyone for reading from the person who understands every word I type to the person who doesnt understand or accept a thing I say but after reading helps them move to the next stage in there life, I am not here to be right or wrong, I am no where near the perfect man and so very far from it, I am only here for me because if I dont help myself no one else can……..
I send my very best to each and everyone of you and hope this finds you all well.
“I hate the man that gambling has turned me into but deep inside I am still a shy boy with a kind heart”
Maverick