That’s not a coward, that’s giving you both time to get used to the idea and for him to find a place. You’ve been quite kind and generous over the years (and speaking as a totally outward view looking in) you owe this man absolutely nothing. So you are doing the right normal thing.
I’m glad something feels better love cause you are due some victories. Keep thinking that. I’m due victories. I am due blessings.
And you have taken a bunch of steps forward. Hard to do when feeling so ill. You are getting through. Some day you will get through all this and you will be amazed looking back.
I hope the doc orders you some tests asap. Between the doggie who probably hasn’t seen a vet in a while and maybe some of your travels could be a possibility? Good to be checked thoroughly for those odd sort of things.
You are up earlier today? Hope you have a good day.
Laura xo