That is a wonderful post Velvet. One I am going to take heart for myself as it sums up where I am.
BU you are on day 4. That is cool. I am on day 3.5. I have almost had a relapse, but got caught. I don’t even know why I did it. I think I am self-destructive and have continued gambling because a part of me wants to destroy everything.
I have met gamblers who have not relapsed for many many years, but they still call themselves gamblers. I think I need to learn how to accept this. That there is a future and life without gambling. None of my friends gamble and they are leading happy, productive lives. No one’s life is perfect, why should mine be. But if I can come to accept this part of myself and move on, I know I can have the kind of life I deserve.
Many thanks
Mav