It is ten weeks until I finish work, but I have two weeks of vacation in that ten weeks so I have 8 working weeks. I am stressing out trying to do so much before I retire. My hubby is getting annoyed with me as he tells me that I need to let it go. I know that he is right. Today I was driving past the Casino and I so wanted to go in and just escape from all the thoughts in my head. It made me stop and think about who was putting all the thoughts, worry, negative, poor me etc. in my head. I thought why am I doing this to myself. I can only do what I can do. Change is challenging, whether you chose it or not. I know that I am concerned as my identity is so entwined with my work. It’s not healthy, but I suppose that is what has happened over the years. I think it’s my way of coping with other things, for example, my Grandkids are not in the same Province so I don’t see them often. I bury the fact that I am not in their life like I want to be. I like the social part of work, the pay cheque and I work for a charity and what I do is rewarding. I am going to be finding out who I am at age 63. I know that if we need money I can get a little job or something. I have put so much weight on that my focus when I retire is to get healthier, but I could start now. I know all the things I should do, but don’t look after myself. I have so much I want to do in the house and I keep putting everything off until I retire.
Vera, your words are so wise and I do appreciate them. I am my own worst enemy, but I am a work in progress.
Thank God I did not go into the Casino as then I would be in a terrible state now. I need to count my blessings and look on the positive. One day at a time. God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I need to have Faith as I know he will take care of me.
Wishing everyone a gamble free day!!!!
