Thanks Monica
I just attended my first SMART meeting online.
You can listen to people speak and u can use a speaker and speak too or just type .
It was overwhelming for me to hear voices discussing recovery and how to recover .
I felt some type of pain bubbling inside me – I don’t think it’s any deeply unresolved issue- I think its the pain of addiction.
The last decade of my life has been about stopping gambling , covering up gambling , getting money to gamble, getting money to replace the gambled money , losing money , winning money , thinking about money and it is relentless .
I realise I never have “time out” to just be .
In the meeting tonight as I listened to others speak I felt hope .
I haven’t felt any real hope in a long time – It is a hesitant hope, but a sincere hope .
Perhaps this is the help I need .