Thanks for your supportive posts John!
I don’t usually vent on a public forum about domestic issues, but the alternative is to “stuff” my emotions into a slot machine which, as we know only adds to our problems.
Of course there are two sides to every story. My son’s “issues” are ongoing. His life is in a mess and “IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” He stays away for weeks/months on end. I keep calling and texting him. I nag my husband and other son to do likewise to make sure he knows we care. He perceives that as “control”! He ignores us until HE decides he is ready to make a visit home. Obviously, against his wishes and when he needs to “escape” from whatever is happening in his life. Sometimes his visits start off well! He has a very good personality when he is in a good mood. I love to see him coming home. The place “lights up” initially! He can be charming and funny and entertaining at times. He helps a lot. Cuts the lawn, serves meals, washes up etc. etc. BUT all of a sudden his mood switches and it’s always as a reaction to something I say or do. It’s as if he is looking for an opening to unleash his anger. I used to wait for my chance to “raise a row” then run for the door and go to the slots so I am no stranger to his “plots”! I feel he targets me probably because I am the only authority figure in his life and we are very alike in many ways! ( He had to leave four secondary schools (guess why!) so never completed his education) . His father is a wimp and has given up on D years ago. Yet he sneers and laughs and does nothing to discourage his son from verbally abusing his wife! Coward! My other son hates conflict and although he is very gentle and sympathizes with me and thinks his brother’s behaviour is unacceptable, yet he never supports me at the time. For that reason I’m now SICK of the lot of them just now! I don’t want to put myself across as a totally “innocent victim”. I’m not! I do retaliate and “give what I get”! What bugs me is, every time we are together as a family, this dysfunctional pattern recurs and I always come out the “worst for wear”so I am planning to make changes to protect myself from being the scapegoat/punchbag in future! I cannot change anybody else but I can take action to protect myself!
Only hubby and myself here today.
I won’t waste my breath talking to him . I said enough last night ! He knows how I feel and guess what. He is “hiding” in his workshop!
I’m back from making my payment to the CU. Better to put 500 where it belongs rather than in to a slot machine!
