Thanks for your posts and support Lizbeth, Jen, Micky and Kin,
you are all wonderful people and your posts mean a great deal to me.
I am struggling big time, I have been on a drinking and gambling binge, can’t get my head right, really struggling to get my life back on the right track, I am at a total loss and in a total mess, I need to share how I feel more often, I keep things bottled up and don’t always express how I feel, I look at myself and I seem to have so much anger (dont know why) I get agitated easy at times, I shouldn’t be this angry and I shouldn’t have this much anger inside, just for today I know not who I am, just for today I hate the person I have become, I want to change, I have to change, I must change or I have no life.
I am a lucky man but just for today I don’t feel it.
I gambled today and I hate the torture I put myself through, it has to stop or this will kill me, just for today my life is a complete mess but only I can change it ………….I am exhausted, in debt, confused, hurt, drunk and in despair……….I know God will help me and I know he does but I just need to help myself!!!
My very best to each and everyone of you, I hope my well wishes finds you all well, we live in a tough world full of temptation and I am afraid to say I have no or little will power when it comes to anything, I have good intentions I promise you all that………..however a old man said to me when we were in a pub drinking many years ago “The pathway to hell is full of good intention” who knows maybe he was right and maybe he was wrong but when I decided to pick myself up, give myself a good shake and kick my own ****ing arse I don’t intend to find out!!!!!
Take care all and thank you once again for you constant posts, support, kind words, helpful advice and just being around sharing, it means a great deal to me and more the I could ever explain.
Maverick