Hi idi
I wish I could say I was in better spirits but in Truth I am not. If God has a plan he is very slow in revealing it. Over four Months in this purgatory are taking their toll. Why life is being so cruel to me I do not know why. I feel bad about going to my sisters with nothing. It simply has never happened this way and I feel the cruelty of this acutely. I wonder why life has deserted me. I got two Xmas cards from my sister and mum today and my sister just says hope all is well with me. Again such a blind ignorance to how things are. Life just isn’t happening here. Nothing. Each day as Intolerable as the last one. I sometimes think that this is it, I stuffed my life up and will ever recover from it. Just a downward spiral. And that is something I don’t want to face or go through. I will give it until the springtime. It will be 7 or 8 months by then. If nothing changes I cannot spend any more time on benefits. It isn’t living.
