Thanks for sharing GY and Steve. I totally agree about doubling down/knuckling down on this compulsion … there is residue of it in the back of the mind (well at least the back of my mind) even when I’m not gambling … it hangs out as something innocent that isn’t.
Accepting the new me can feel weird/odd at first. For me I know the feelings of struggling to accept it/being caught up in “well I know i’ll give in at some point” or blind optimism disguised as getting out but actually rooted in holding onto the idea of the next bet… the two languages it bounces back and forth between inside (at least for me). I find that thinking tends to be very pinned down/black and white with this addiction where awareness of more than 2 choices of deep extremes is basically numbed by all the energy being consumed even by just thinking about it …
Stepping fully out of that gravity well … however recent, has felt like incredibly deep oxygen to me. It has also made me grateful and acknowledging of the fact that prior to very recently coming to wonderful places like this, I in fact have been successful in widdling down my participation in markets/my form of gambling to have less impact on my life … however widdled down is still very dangerous and draining. Every good step forward truly matters. Your 25 days and the days beyond that matter — always remember that.
Much love and support