Thanks Charles , Micky and Kathryn.
It is strange but I like my thread a whole lot more recently .
I feel I can write openly and I look forward to the positive responses I am getting.
Maybe I have changed !
I might be overly sensitive but it nice when people pick up the positive aspects of my thread , and don’t post judgement on the more negative parts.
If a thread is to be honest it has to have warts and all- and we all know picking at warts makes them spread!
It had got to the stage where my thread dragged me down more than supported me .
Tonight I did something I haven’t done in along time – I did a self hypnosis session from u tube.
It was a 40 minute session and I woke up three hours later . The wake up call at the end never wakes me up – and I always am fast asleep a few minutes in- not sure if that’s normal but I have no urges tonight .
I am testing it a little but it seems too much hassle to get the laptop out.
Other nights it would not have been too much hassle to climb on the roof to get a laptop so I’m thinking this is a change . If anyone is interested I can post the link . It might be just for tonight but my brain is so happy to have a break from tHe constant urges.
Life in general is good – I am happy and still cannot believe the depth of really positive support and lack of critism I am finding at GA. It works for me . It feels like I have met with the kindest people who understand what it’s like to feel really vulnerable – and they handle my vulnerability with care .
I always knew that “advice “, “straight talking” , telling me the “things I don’t want to hear “, and criticism under any other guise dragged me down – maybe I have had enough of that in my life .
I have recently realised that for me that when I feel dragged down , I feel less than others – then I dream about how I will be “someone” when I get that big win and then I’m back in the cycle of gambling.
I think when I started my old thread with my list of rules , I knew I wants this to be somewhere I felt supported – and therein lies the difference with face to face meetings
Interpretation of the written word is as much about the mood of the reader as the writer. Without seeing each other’s faces it is difficult to decipher whether a person is letting off steam, being deeply nasty and bitter or just really Hurting when they write a negative post .
Yeah I’m sold on GA.