Thanks again for the message and support.
As soon as I admitted the scale of the problem to my partner and also went to see my Doctor regarding some fairly regular thoughts about suicide it lifted a lot of the initial weight of worry from my mind and daily life.
Getting in touch with GM then followed and gave me a plan and sense of direction that I had been trying to gamble my way to. A gamble free life will actually very slowly allow me to get out of debt and eliminate the financial worries and depression that has ran alongside this for a number of years.
If you are a CG then simply put, it is impossible to fix things yourself without help from professionals or this kind of community. The average person and also family can’t understand things to the extent you nees them to.
Ever since I admitted things fully to my partner, family, registered with a doctor and applied for a place with GM…..I have become incredibly positive, motivated and have a sense of direction. It feels amazing!!!!! The journey is only just beginning and the hardest parts may be yet to come but I am ready.
Right now I am gamble free but only because I have no job, no money and i’m out of all sources of money and have debts and unpaid loans. If I was working and I got a wage I wouldn’t pay my debts, bills, even mortgage payments would be at risk. So although I am gamble free, this treatment is way overdue and I have a long way to go.
It is amazing how shallow your mind becomes in the thick of being a CG, it takes over everything, takes everything else away from you. It’s almost as if you lose complete grip of reality and the severity of your actions is not something you are aware of. You spend a lifetime not overpaying for food shopping, not going to a restaurant because the £20 steak is too expensive, not buying the nike trainers because £70 is crazy money for shoes. In one night, in your own house, staring into a mobile phone you lose £2000 in the space of a few hours.
I will definitely take this opportunity and hope you youself continue on this journey. I would hope there would be some kind of programme in Australia but may take some extensive research to try and find something. GM does seem like a special organisation for sure. Get yourself over here!!
I can’t promise I won’t get too hairy but it’s kind of a strange motivator for me that I will earn the right for the reward of shaving off a 14week beard upon completion of the programme. I already have 6weeks of beard to start me off.
I will post when I get out and will look to continue within this community.
I will make you proud.
Much Love
KStep x