Thank you for replying back to my post.
I agree – I need to find someone to control my money. My boyfriend struggles with the same problem, though not nearly as much as me, but he enables me. So, I don’t think he’d be the best to watch my finances. We have a lot to work on with us, at this point it feels we are toxic to each other. But he saw me at my absolute worst these past couple of days and I think he’s finally understanding that it’s not something I can play around with – go only so often type thing. It has to be an end all this time. So, that makes me wonder who I should have watch my finances – my sister or my father… but doing that is something that seems very hard to do. I’ll have to keep thinking on that. Maybe start by giving them access to my bank accounts so they can watch what I do… Not sure yet.
It most definitely is a disease. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. I never imagined in a million years I’d be dealing with this for myself. I’m intelligent. I know that I am. But, sadly this has nothing to do with intelligence – it can happen to anyone.
I gamble when I’m bored or when I have a good chunk of $ in my bank account. I’ve never had over $2,000 at one time in my account. I don’t know how that even feels. I don’t save anything, I spend it all – at the damn casino. Even when I’m way up, I go way down before I can stop. Even then I don’t want to.
Yes, there is hope. I’m starting to believe that. The only way I’ve been able to get up and do things today – cleaning the house and putting in time on various forums. Trying to come up with an ultimate plan for this to be my last time. Still not sure yet, but gonna look back into GA and gonna use these forums consistently. That’s my plan at the moment.