Well I was contemplating going to my “regular” meeting tonight but I got a text at 8 am as I was walking out the door. My “friend” apparently called her sponsor and she texted me this morning. I feel so betrayed – and this is a very nice woman-but my point being it was my story to tell. She said she wanted me to feel supported with the drilling I got from her.
“Hey, know you are loved and supported. Hang in there. Sometimes it helps to ask yourself the hard questions about what you are doing in recovery. Is it enough? What can u do differently? Are you only doing what is comfortable? Will you do what ever it takes or only what you are comfortable with? Are you surrendered? Most importantly ….do u want to get well? I hope you do because until u r 6 feet under there is always hope. What is past is past where r u headed is the thing that really matters. Agree?
I wasn’t positive who posted at first because I didn’t recognize the number. She texted back her name and I responded
“Sorry I wasn’t the one to talk to you. Thats how it should have been. I’m going to work-take care” I was too ticked off to say much-
She responded “I understand. XXXXX is taken aback and reached out. Remember no one is more for u than we are. We care because we care. Talk sometime soon?”
My response” I told her yesterday before the meeting out of respect for her feelings. I didn’t want her to hear 2nd hand. This is not about her. I feel gossiped about and judged. No need for me to give a “therapy”since its been given for me. Am I mad? Yes. do I feel supported? You can answer that for me.”
Response from her ” No gossip just concern. wanted to reach out and offer support. Will keep u in my prayers. Wish you the best.”
Did I overreact? Maybe but I am so upset.
Is her recovery so shakey that she can’t hear someone’s relaspe put her in danger?
This is the reaction I was afraid of. I called my friend last night when I left the meeting and she raged on and on about all the people who didn’t do the steps-they are just kidding themselves and will relapse. You can’t do this without a sponsor. These people you talk to- your just kidding yourself. etc. etc.
I’m frustrated.
bettie
