Thanks Liz. Yesterday was better. I have been helping my gf with an estate sale and I can only do so much. 1 hour work then I need a break.
Got a call yesterday – from the “landlord”. Curosidy killed the cat for sure. I listened while he started complaining about Jen and I stopped him. I told him that was done. Then he said how we shouldn’t have mixed “friendship” ( ha ha ) with business. (Thats was true but I had alternative motives-I wanted to spend more time with him and that never happened.) Then he went on to say how much he missed being with me-mind you not “me” per se but “being with me”. He’s going to Mexico for a month and he wants to come “see” me before he goes. I didn’t say much and alot needs to be said. The time that I would allow this mess in my life is over-he just doesn’t get it. I will entertain his next call-because now I am ready with what needs to be said. He doesn’t miss me-he misses what I would do for him. Thats a sad reality that I can now accept. It’s taken me years. I am no longer willing to be his tramp because I deserve so much more.
I had gambling urges the second I was off the phone. I can see the connection now. It makes me sad that I have allowed so much phisycal and emotional abuse that I could have stopped at any time.
Praying for strength.
bettie
