One of the most difficult thing for me to learn from recovery, life and God was living life on life’s term.
I found out the hard way, I realized and learn how life is full of up and down, good things and bad things can happen to anyone, not only a person doing good, it was a very hard and painful pill to swallow and accept.
It was so easy to be satisfied, contented and thank God when life is smooth sailings, but it takes a lot of strength, courage and wisdom to stay calm, peaceful, thankful in recovery and praise God when bad things happen in our life.
I have learn not to have unrealistic expectations. I have learnt to accept the setback and my mistakes in my life thankfully. It has change me into the person I have become.
If all the bad things that has happen in my life can change me into a better person or help me to find God, it was not such a bad thing after all, right? Of course I feel thankful.
I have pick up the skill to keep my ship sailing after I hit the rocks. I just simply change my direction while I cover up the holes and continue my search for hope and follow the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I choose to continue to believe in God ‘s and the 12 steps recovery promises.
I have taken baby steps forward for 13 years now. I was not a popular or perfect recovery role model because I have fallen countless times over the years but I am very sure about one thing, I did not fall on the same spot in time because time is always moving ahead.
The worst thing that can happen to me was to stop living practically because “time is always moving ahead but my life was still living in the past.” Many call this depression.
I have survived depression, I have survived slip and relapses of all kind all the times. I choose not to be defeated. Even if I had to walk with a limp, even if I have to crawl to the finish line, I will continue this journey of recovery in life.
Do not belittle the baby steps, they add up over time. You will see the light and find hope one day…just keep going.
I will be telling one big lie if I did not mention this important truth, the problem in my life continue to be there, old ones will disappear, new ones will appear, but the quality of my life, etc. mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially has improves. My relationship with the family was restored, I have more joy and happiness now, my debts has reduced… slowly but surely, I never imagine that I can have a place I call my own so soon, along the way, I have done different jobs but I continue to have work.
One of the most important thing I have learn in recovery is start the healing immediately, however slow it can be and stop the rotting. Some stop digging the hole sooner, some stop later but you have to stop digging end of the day.
This is the wonder and magic of living one day at a time, or in my case one baby step at a time.