Thank you Velvet. Your response made me cry, but a lot makes me cry, haha!!
I’m having a really hard time. I am going to try and meet with an attorney this week. My dad believes me, and isn’t surprised and just says my husband is bluffing, but I wouldn’t mind having him out of my life, but I want my kids to live with me. I know he will have visitation, but I just can’t have them living with him. He is not changed in any way through his “counseling” if he is even really going. I just can’t see him being focused on Them like they need. It is all overwhelming. Just realizing things that were lies that I didn’t know were lies. And listening to him tell new lies is really hard. He believes and says he can stop gambling anytime and that he just has a few bad years. So he is miraculously cured now and not gambling. Well, how would I know?? I feel like I have been a good person. He says that I’m rude in front of my kids and when I say “I am not rude” he tells me to look it up in the dictionary. My own family is many hours away and old. They can’t really help me. I have a few friends, but not a lot I can lean on. He has a lot of brothers and sisters and for years I have wondered why they were so rude to me. His father was a gambling addict before liver disease disabled him. I had no idea they thought I was the problem. I always told my husband he should not take money from his parents or siblings. I never understood why he needed to get money from them. It always bothered me. No one in my family was a drinker or a gambler, so I feel I was naive. I had no idea this was a real thing. I just thought he was selfish. He is an attorney, so I fear a lot of things. I feel like my son is angry with me, and his dad has no plans of accepting any responsibility for any arguments We have had. I am not composed. I am happier when he moves out and stays with his parents, but the last six months he has refused to leave. I feel like he has some “strategy” that he has already planned out. Just drive me crazy and make me look like a mad woman. He messes up things in the house and does the opposite of everything I ask. He controls all of the finances and would never give up any of it. He would never let me take over paying bills or the bank accounts. I mean if you really admit having an addiction isn’t that just a given? It is definitely an unhealthy place for all of us. I will may feel better or even worse when I speak to an attorney. It may make it worse for me, I don’t know. All I do know is that he believes he is some victim. He believes his family, and that I am the problem. This is a 46 year old man that still uses his moms gas card to buy 100% of ALL of his gas. Even when his company pays his expenses. He uses his mom’s gas credit card. His parents pay for all of his car repairs. They give him a Walmart card to use. All the while, me and the kids get whatever scraps he leaves in the banK account. He swears he doesn’t lie. He says “I made a few mistakes.” Ugh. I am so tired of it all.