Thank you Steev and Sean,
Today I am finding it hard to feel those good emotions Sean.
I am feeling completely overwhelmed.
Why?
Because I have procrastinated again and now I am overwhelmed by the amount I have to squeeze into today.
This is led to a short and poor sleep so that I am less able than usual to cope with the extra work.
This has led to waking this morning full of anxiety.
There could have been a simple solution – do some of the work yesterday.
I think it is a type of anxiety that stops me from getting stuck into things like this. I think about what I have to do and too many things jump into my head at once and then I can’t focus.
Last night as I anxiously watched rubbish tv, I realised that it is times like this that used to send me straight to gambling.
I am glad I didn’t do that last night. Watching mindless TV is of course another escape activity but one which doesn’t leave me in a state of panic for the rest of the month.
I lifted my spirits this morning by checking my bank account – it is healthy and that gives me a feeling of safety which helps with the panic anxiety.
I think it is healthy enough for me to consider hiring a cleaner – that would help my life so much.