Thank you Laura .
I am becoming more and more painfully aware of the damage i have done- then to give me perspective – I know people who sent their children to boarding school at 8 years of age – and they don’t do this guilt over their absence in their children’s lives.
At the end of the day I might have missed time with my child through addiction but it wasn’t something I purposely imposed on my child .
Maybe we are too hard in ourselves – maybe we believe what the f&f s say a little too much.
In my family my cg mum may have had her difficulties but my f&f dad was never there – AlwAys something more important to attend to! We wanted for nothing except maybe a relationship with him! My mum did her best – we were well fed and cared for .
End of day 38. Feel like I can’t cope with the simplest things in life . I need to keep paring back my responsibilities –
When gambling I could juggle a hundred things – now it seems I can’t reach on the simplest of things .
But I’m here and I’m present –
That has to ***** for something.
Day 39 tomorrow .
Not much to look forward to .
Life seems to be getting harder