Hi lee
You are very brave and courageous to share the real truth about your recovery, the truth many times doesn’t look or sound good but it is progress and your continue effort plus honest action give strength and encouragement to others struggling in recovery and inspire many reading your journal.
I respect you for trying real hard to be a better man. It take a lot of strength and determination to not choose the easy way out and go back to your old ways. We soon realize that there is a price we need to pay and sacrifice we need to make to be a better person.
Your moment of weakness and struggle show that we are all human, and not perfect. Your sincerity and effort in seeking progress and improvement in the quality of your life and your family is worthy of praise.
If you have been there, you will understand what they mean, there is this saying…Religion is for people who fear Hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there.
Our solution is a spiritual one.
It takes time, maybe a lifetime to understand ourselves better, for we cannot heal something that is not there and when we understand ourselves better, it does help us to improve our acceptance of ourselves and be more realistic in our expectation of ourselves, we seek progress and improvement in our life and the lives of our love and family.
Continue your good work. My heart is with you.
Many blessings
Kin