Thank you for the reply Laura
Truth is no, I did not feel like anyone while making obscene sized bets. In fact if I could have had it happen in a dark room with just me and the dealer, I would have preferred that. Is that strange?
It’s been days now and I still don’t know what the heck to feel. The amount i lost haunts me every chance it gets and it’s killing me inside. This is the SECOND time I have lost 6 figures in ONE NIGHT within a YEAR. I mean what is wrong with me!?!? I’m so lost. I fantasize about having a time machine and going back and changing what I’ve done. But maybe even if I did do that…I would end up in a similar situation anyways bc I have this crazy compulsion. I’m so ashamed…so regretful…
Went out to see friends but I just feel like a zombie. I wanted to drown myself and my friends in a pity party but tbh they probably wouldn’t even understand my craziness. Can’t relate…
I used to go to NA meetings religiously and they really helped me get clean from drugs. GA meetings might be a good idea.