Thank you both Lily and Velvet for your considered replies.
Lily, I know you are right and after spending a long while upset that i wasnt worth enough, I remembered that it isnt that, its that he physically cannot empathise with me. i spent a long time talking to my counselor about it and i have it straight in my head that he just cant deal with it all and the gambling does and will come first.
I am definitely guilty of all of those traits you described, essentially leading to not looking after myself. i’m working hard every day to get better at that. and stepping away yesterday from a situation i didnt want to be in was a HUGE step for me and probably not something I would have done before.
As far as doing things for me goes, I will, in a few weeks be thousands of miles away from CG on a girls trip where I intend on being present. I know a full two weeks of not worrying will be incredibly difficult for me. Plus I will be in Vegas, which isnt a problem for me but I’m sure will affect CG in someway.
Velvet, I do have a very long and annoying contingency plan in place for getting me back to my parents (I cant drive myself as its my right foot that is broken). After the first week of the break, and what happened in my post, i realised that i cant rely on him as i would expect with a non-gambling partner.
I think CG is as desperate for the break to visit my parents as I am and seems concerned that he will be left to his own devices on saturday morning when I am off getting my hair cut (doing things for me!).
I have given him a bit of a bad rep, he has rearranged his time with his little boy to come with me and does recognise that it is important to me.
However, I’m well aware that it will probably be a “favour” that he will want cashing back in at some point.
Yes, my foot did lead me to feeling very vulnerable and isolated. but once i changed my attitude and stopped feeling sorry for myself everything got a bit easier.
I think I have come back to posting at exactly the right time as CGs home life is about to get turned upside down. Which really isnt needed during this week *sigh*.
I’ll update when everything is more under control.
Thanks again. Your responses just give me so much clarity on my situation.