thank you dark energy. in regards to number 2 if i set a limit for the month, then i would have to wait a month before the limit officially changes and can deposit more. i hope that would be a sufficent cooling down period. in regards to number 3 yes i really am up quite a bit. i do have online records and tax return statements to show this. number 4 is what scares me because i know the thoughts of contnuing to gamble pervade my brain even when i dont want them too. is there no way to control this? maybe i am trying to have my cake and eat it too and maybe i can’t do that but that is what is tearing me up inside. i don’t want my loved ones worrying about me but i feel that if tweaks can be made and barriers in place (harm reduction) then maybe i can use it for some entertainment and make some money because the money i have won has helped us. I guess that’s my struggle. Too me someone who is addicted to drugs, i don’t see how there can be a positive from that. but for my addiction to gambling, while it has some negative effects, it can also have some positive effects of giving my family extra money.
I am not trying to be a jerk but just explaining my thought process in hopes that my mind can be changed