Hi Mtap, you said, “I cannot go anywhere else and tell them this because of the embarrassment I feel.”
So, first of all, well done on talking to us about your situation.
It took me a while to realise that the way out of this mess is to talk to people. I started with a self-help group who suggested I talk to Gamblers’ Anonymous. After a while I talked to counsellors about it – and now I will talk to anyone who is interested. The more I talk about my gambling, the less likely I am to gamble again.
If you are reading the posts in this forum, you know the things to do are 1) lose access to gambling places, 2) lose access to money, 3) find new things (non gambling) to spend your leisure time on and 4) get good support for yourself.
So talk to someone in your area – put these other things in place and keep talking here so that we can see your progress. I wish you well.