Hi,
About taking control of finances….it’s a step forward but unfortunately for an addict, from my own experience with my partner, they will always find the money to gamble elsewhere and the debts will continue to mount!
The best thing you can do is keep your own finances separate, call to bank and ensure that both of you need to be present for any withdrawals if you have a joint account!
Keep your head high…don’t worry about his debts! They are his and not yours! It’s really difficult to do this but with counselling for yourself you will be able to achieve this. That was hardest thing for me to stop worrying about. But now….my money is separate to his, I don’t worry about his debts. I put pressure on him all the time to ensure bills are up to date and it works. I worry a lot about him because it’s painful watching him suffer when I can tell he hates himself enough for it. But I am hopeful and think about the light at the end of the tunnel….that one day he will hit rock bottom and lose everything….awful to say but true….and he’ll accept help then. I always reassure him that I’ll stand by his side and somehow it’s starting to get in there with him!
It’s really difficult…..but you need to get help for yourself so that you are strong because otherwise the problem will get worse for both yourself and him!
Having this forum is so helpful and it brought me a lot of comfort and taught me a lot so I hope it does the same for you.
Life throws a lot of battles in our paths and we have to chose which ones we are willing to fight. Nobody will judge you if you want to leave. My experience…..everyone judges for staying but that’s my choice and I feel that’s right for me. You must chose which is the best for you and only you….nobody else