I liked idis post on her thread about motivation and the list. I struggle to motivate myself to do anything and I just have a what’s the point feeling to everything. I have prayed for help every day and not received any. On st Valentine’s Day I will hit six months exactly clean and I am no better. So the stop gambling and good things will follow makes me want to scream and cry. I will use the motivation issue with my counselling session this week as I feel it is a much bigger issue for us in recovery and a tough nut to crack. But if we did, life could be amazing.
I have spent my time watching the Winter Olympics and enjoying the snowboarding and elegant ice dancing. Try as I might I can’t get into the curling which seems to me like quite a daft sport. It makes me think about how we all could have been if we had the backup and Support when we were small. All Of these things to excel at something are unattainable when you are brought up in a poverty environment with no emotional support to express who we are. I have been thinking a lot about how wonderful it would be to excel at something. I have prayed for my own gifts to be shown to me, Because genuinely no longer know myself. What used to drive me and hold my interest no longer does and I feel bereft for who I used to be. Reflective today.
