Does the roller coaster ride of emotions ever end? I have a few good days and then I think I get inside my own head and all of a sudden, I’m angry, I’m emotional, I question everyone’s motives as well as my own. Part of me (a very small part) just wants to go to the casino and feel the “nothing” that goes with it. But I know that I need to deal with this, not just bury it with the “nothing”. It’s really hard to explain to non gamblers how/why I feel this way. Today, it occurred to me that when my hubby asks “how are the urges?”, that maybe he’s asking “how much do I need to watch to make sure you don’t steal my money to feed your addiction?” and whether it’s true (which it very well may be), even if it’s not an he’s just trying to be supportive, I can’t get that out of my head and have to work extra hard to ensure that he doesn’t know that I think that and that I don’t try to start a fight….
