Welcome. Posting here can be your start to ending the madness once and for all. Admitting you have a problem and getting support is very important for your recovery. You are likely in a whirlwind of emotion and panic. That is normal, you are likely in a state of shock. All of us have been there in varying degrees. It will get better, don’t harm yourself over it. You are young, you have your entire life ahead of you. You have a child on the way. You are not going to win your money back, you have to just chalk it up to that money wasn’t for you, it’s the betting shops money now and that will never change. You are a compulsive gambler and CGs never win. Even if you hit a big win, you would have sent it all back plus some. First step is getting help and damage control, STOP THE BLEEDING, STOP DIGGING THE HOLE.
Now you can start repairing. Repair your relationships, show action by going to meetings and focusing on important areas in your life. Start making yourself better, maybe learn some new hobbies or get better at your occupation or learn a new occupation.
It’s not all going to be rainbows or roses and in the short run it’s going to be a struggle with plenty of tears and emotions but eventually you will start to feel a little bit better and day by day you can work through it. But for now just one day at a time. We have all been there, this is a very understanding group. Go to the helpline and chat with Harry. He was my first point of contact several weeks ago when I had a meltdown, he was very helpful. Go into group sessions on this site and connect with Charles, he is amazingly helpful. You can get out of this, life is better without gambling, you can make it. Best of luck and I’ll be following your progress.